


You melt me

by Albatrossnotfound



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), dreamnotfound - Fandom
Genre: BadBoyHalo - Freeform, DNF, George - Freeform, Heaven & Hell, Love, Mentioned TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Minecraftyt - Freeform, Self Harm, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, dream - Freeform, dreamnotfound, georgenotfound - Freeform, mcyt - Freeform, sapnap - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:21:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29719200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Albatrossnotfound/pseuds/Albatrossnotfound
Summary: I thought about texting him. I know he'd answer. I know he'd do everything in his power to make me feel anything other than what I currently was. I knew how broken it would make him. How every word that I would send him would puncture him until he felt the exact way as I did. Even knowing that it would kill him, knowing that I wasn't okay and had lied to him after countless nights of reassuring him that I was fine and just was tired, I still wanted to tell him. I wanted to let my heart pour out in a way that it only seemed to do so when I was around him. I wanted him to hold me tight in his arms and whisper empty promises in my ear. Promises that neither of us knew would stay true or not, but promises that would help me to see clearly again. But I couldn't. Even if it meant losing myself. I couldn't let George fall and cave in with me.
Kudos: 8





	1. Don't fall and cave in with me

Dreams' POV:

I made it. After two weeks of barely leaving my room. I made it. I had actually left. I had walked six miles to somewhere I remember being happier, somewhere I thought I would be happier. I remembered it being brighter, being so full of life and colourful. I remembered it being somewhere I would smile, laugh. Somewhere I would even let myself be free. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or maybe it was the lack of food, but all the colours seemed to have drained from the life around me, almost reflecting how all of my energy had drained from me. It had a haunting feeling that made me wish I never decided to leave. 

I sat on a bench, feeling slightly lightheaded from the journey, wondering if those around me could see how broken I truly was. See how my eyes were darker than they once were, had more bags than they once did and were emptier than they used to be. I wondered if they could hear the muffled cries of pain that leaked from my aching joints and destroyed brain. I wondered if they could see the tears that were streaming from my eyes, my sad eyes that were too empty to even notice and too broken to attempt to stop the ongoing river. I looked around, suddenly there was no one. Just the wind, the rumbling of my empty stomach and myself. I hadn't notice it get so empty and quiet. Maybe it was the excessive overthinking, or the feeling of silently drowning as everyone around me just moved on with their lives. But it was empty. Empty. The emptiness mimicked the feelings I had back in my room, mimicked how broken I really was. I punched my thigh with all of the strength I could muster.

"fuck." I muttered under my breathe. Knowing that under my sweats it would probably already be reddening from the initial impact from my trembling fist.

Why couldn't I just be happy? Why couldn't I ignore the ache in my chest and the throbbing pains in my head? Why couldn't I just feel something other than this longing pain that grew too big for me to even comprehend or realise? I felt a tear drop to my arm, a bullet filled to the brim with my own self-pity and depression. Feeling its sudden coldness awakened me from whatever nightmare I had over-thought myself into this time. I used my trembling hands to conceal any evidence of my suffering that had been flowing uncontrollably from my mourning eyes. I could feel it. I could feel it taking over. They said leaving would help. That it would clear my head. But it gave me opportunities I didn't know I had, opportunities to overthink everything I had ever experienced until I had dug my own grave with sorry thoughts and trembling fears.

George. If only you were here right now. I know you'd understand. I know you'd say something to make me laugh so hard that I'd forget about the darkness that seems to continuously drag me deeper and deeper down. Deeper away from you. Deeper away from Sapnap. Deeper away from everything I had ever known. 

I thought about texting him. I know he'd answer. I know he'd do everything in his power to make me feel anything other than what I currently was. I knew how broken it would make him. How every word that I would send him would puncture him until he felt the exact way as I did. Even knowing that it would kill him, knowing that I wasn't okay and had lied to him after countless nights of reassuring him that I was fine and just was tired, I still wanted to tell him. I wanted to let my heart pour out in a way that it only seemed to do so when I was around him. I wanted him to hold me tight in his arms and whisper empty promises in my ear. Promises that neither of us knew would stay true or not, but promises that would help me to see clearly again. But I couldn't. Even if it meant losing myself. I couldn't let George fall and cave in with me.

I looked down into a puddle, not recognising what I had become. Not recognising the face that stared up at me with longing eyes filled with desperate pleads. Not recognising my quivering lips that had permanently become a straight line, the complete opposite of the beaming smiling face that was sewn into my neon green hoodie. The smile on my hoodie almost mimicking the smile that I had lost over that last few weeks. My hair was messy, it looked dull and almost as limp as I felt. My cheeks were hollow, a clear sign of the battle I had been having regarding eating. I had become a ghost. I had become what I feared the most. A monster. I watched as I pulled my own hair, my desperate finger grasping at the thin blonde strands trying to understand how I had turned into this. 

All motivation I had left vanished as my fingers pulled harder on my choking hair. I picked up my phone, tapping on it a few times until I was staring at George's name blankly. My finger twitched as I got closer to the 'call' button. I sucked in a deep breathe, attempting to find comfort in calming myself down. A tear fell from my face. It was like I was in a movie. I watched as it slowly fell and landed on the call button. Fuck. I heard the noise as it was connecting me through to George. I still couldn't even hold the phone to my face. Worried George would hear the streams of tears that fell down my empty cheeks. Worried he would hear how broken I sounded. How broken I truly was.

"Hello? Dream?" I heard his soft voice. I jumped, not expecting him to answer. Dropping my phone in the process. I picked it up and tried to slow my breathing down.  
"Hi George." I spoke softly, attempting to cover the ache in my throat. Attempting to convince him that I was fine.  
"Dream, you okay? What's up?" I heard his British accent hug his words tightly, feeling butterflies in my stomach from the slight concern in his voice. I took a deep breath.  
"George...I.." The ability to talk with confidence, something I was so well known for had left. I felt panic creep up my spin, knowing he would now realise something was wrong.  
"Dream? Are you crying?" Shit. I hadn't realised I was still crying, now hearing the soft sobs leave my mouth. I slapped my hand over my face, already knowing it was too late.  
"Dream, talk to me. What's wrong? Where are you?" I heard the concern in his voice grow. I couldn't talk, I just screamed out as all of my emotions came out. The ability to hold them in vanished leaving me crying uncontrollably down the phone into George’s innocent, unknowing ears.  
"I'm s-sorry Geor-rge" I hung up faster than I ever had before, not wanting George to hear any more of the wails that seemed to leave my mouth so effortlessly. I pulled at my hair harder, and screamed harder as everything seemed to cave in.

I watched as my phone vibrated, 'George is calling...'. He had already tried to call back three times. I watched as Sapnap's name appeared on my phone. The text a little smudged from my tears. 'Sapnap is calling...'. I looked down at the phone in my hand and stuffed it into my tear-stained hoodie, not wanting to concern my dear friends anymore. I felt myself become lightheaded again from the continuous crying and wailing. I pulled my hood over my hair and face and brought my knees to my chest, attempting to hide the shame I was feeling. A wave of guilt washed over me, knowing I had already worried my friends too much. I carefully reached into my pocket, grasping my phone that hadn't stopped vibrating. The vibrating only made my hands and body tremble more.  
"He-llooo?" I tried desperately to cover how shaky and sore my voice was.  
"Dream, tell me exactly where you are right now." Sapnap. I didn't realise I had answered his call.  
"Sap..I...I dont't know what to do anymore." My voice trembled as I heard the clear concern in my friend’s voice.  
"Dream. Calm your breathing. I need to know where you are. Please, can you tell me that much?" His voice softened and I nodded forgetting he couldn't see me.  
"You re-remember that lake we-ee used to come to as kid-ds?"  
"I'm on my way Dream, I'm not going anywhere. Just try to breath for me okay?" He sounded frantic; I could hear a car door slam. What had I done? My friends were so concerned, I only ever make this worse. I couldn't help but let my mind wander to the thought of letting myself sink into the lake as I stared at it longingly. The thought of the cold water seeping over my aching body and cooling it, taking my pain away, taking me away. I could no longer hear Sapnap's comforting voice. I could only hear one word, 'Jump'.  
I felt my body get up unconsciously, walking closer to the lake.  
"Dream?! Please answer me, I'm less than five minutes away, are you still there? Please Dream!" Even though I could hear his voice croak with pain, almost hearing the tears streaming down his face, I couldn't process anything. I dropped my phone and jumped. 

This lake was known as 'The suicide lake' it had taken many lives because of the downward pull. It would pull its victims to the bottom with no chance of escape. I felt myself slowly sink deeper into the lake, feeling the coldness take over my pain and numb my whole body. This is it. I looked up to the light that quickly disappeared. I felt my body float in the water until I hit the bottom of the lake. I wasn't scared as I felt my chest tighten and burn. I wasn't scared as I felt myself fade away.

Sapnap's POV:

I pulled in quickly to a parking space, having already called an ambulance in case of... No. I can't think like that. Dream is fine. I jumped out of my car. Why hadn't Dream spoke to us? I started sprinting to the lake, not caring if I had locked my car or not. Why didn't I notice him breaking? My heart pounded as I got to the lake. When did he start feeling like this? Panic quickly surged through my veins, he wasn't here. Why hadn't I been a better friend?  
"DREAAAM!" I screamed desperately, not caring how stupid I sounded. Begging to hear his cheerful voice call back to me in response. But there was nothing. The silence was deafening.  
Then I caught a glimpse of something shiny on the grass close to the edge of the lake. I ran to it. No. It was Dreams phone. No. Everything started to piece together. No. Dream No. Had he...jumped in?  
Before I even knew what I was doing I jumped into the lake. My heart pounded against the walls of my chest. I swam desperately deeper, looking for any signs of him. My eyes stung but I forced them to stay open knowing my friend’s life was on the line here.

My heart stopped; the coldness of the lake hit me. There he was. Floating so angelically. Motionless. Lips blue. Skin pale. No. Please God no. I swam to him feeling myself get pulled deeper. I took a hold of his cold, motionless body, tugging his neon green hoodie close to me and pushed as hard as I physically could against the lake floor. Even though we were still getting pulled I could feel us start to move up through the water. Those years of being on the swim and football team really paid off. We broke through the water and I quickly dragged my friend’s lifeless body with me onto the undisturbed, unknowing grass.  
I gasped desperately not realising how much it hurt to breath.  
"Dream!" I croaked out, begging for an answer. No response. I looked down his chest, looking for any indication of life. Nothing. I took a deep breath, swiped the water away from my eyes and started CPR. I felt my tears streaming harder as I called out to my dear friend that was disappearing below me.  
“Dream stay with me. Please.” I tilted his head back slightly and took a deep breath. I connected our mouths and pushed as much breath as I could into him. I felt my chest ache, not recovering from the running or water that I accidentally sucked in. I did this again and continued with chest compressions. The optimism inside of me was fading fast, seeing my friend so lifeless, so frail, so broken. He's gone, I thought. Tightening my eyes as even more tears pricked through their clasp. Then I heard it, the siren of the ambulance. Hold on Dream, Please. I thought as I continued CPR.

A lady ran to me taking over from the CPR, I gasped and felt myself fall onto the grass alongside Dream. The lack of air really taking a toll.  
"WE'VE GOT A PULSE!" was the last thing I heard as I passed out thinking of my dear friend and how I should have done better.


	2. I'm sorry Dream

George’s POV:  
"I'm s-sorry Geor-rge" I heard Dream croak out before the call fell silent. Dream had hung up. What? What was going on? I tried to call back, but it just kept ringing with no answer. Come on Dream. I jumped to my chair and pulled up Discord. Luckily, Sapnap was in our group on his own. I joined without hesitation.  
“Sapnap!”  
“It’s nice to speak to you too George!” he said sourly, I ignored his tone and tried to explain to him.  
“Have you seen Dream today? He called me and was crying, I asked him what was wrong, and he… he just broke down. He was wailing and screaming so loud. He hung up on me and won’t answer any of my calls.” I explained desperately, wanting Sapnap’s help more than anything else. Especially since Sapnap lived in Florida with Dream. It would take me at least 14 hours to get to Florida from England.  
“What? No, he said he was going on a walk. I haven’t heard back from him in hours. I’ll try calling him too.” I heard Sapnap rustle around.  
I started looking at plane tickets to get to Florida. Whatever this was, I had to be there for Dream. I couldn’t not be there for him right now. I booked a flight that would leave in 3 hours.  
“Sapnap, I’ve just booked a flight for Florida. I know Dream wouldn’t want to meet like this, but I can’t not go.” I could feel my chest tightening, remembering the heart aching screams that left Dream’s mouth. This wasn’t something that could be ignored. It was something I could already hear replaying in my mind until I knew that Dream was okay.  
“That’s a good shout, GeoRGE HE ANSWERED HOLD ON” Sapnap half screamed. I could hear Sapnap trying to get through to him, prying at where he was. My chest stung; I couldn’t help Dream like that. Not right now anyway.  
“George, I have to go. He is at this lake we used to go when we were younger. I’ll keep you updated I promise.” I heard Sapnap disconnect from the call and was left on my own, fearing for my best friend’s life.  
I looked down and saw tears fall from my cheeks, I hadn’t even noticed that I had been crying this whole time. I wiped them away with the sleeve of my jumper and got up to start packing for Florida, praying that Sapnap would find him. I started packing the basics, not even having enough time to think properly, fully knowing I’d forget something important. I grabbed my passport and keys, thanking God that I had remembered to update it a month ago. I swung my bag over my shoulder and dragged my suitcase out of my apartment. I locked my apartment and sprinted to my car. I threw both bags into my car, not caring about anything other than the safety of my best friend. Dream. I hope you are okay. I hope Sapnap got to you in time. I got into my car and drove to the airport knowing that the journey ahead of me would be painfully slow. When did all of this start? I started thinking about all of the days Dream told me he was fine and was just tired. I thought about his excuses when we called him out for not eating once during a twelve-hour stream. I thought about all of the times I should have been there for my best friend but wasn’t. My grip tightened around my steering wheel as tears started to blur my vision. I wiped them away with my sleeve again, feeling utterly useless.  
“Im pathetic.” The words slipped out of my mouth with no care that only I could hear them.  
I arrived at the airport and sprinted inside not caring how stupid and careless I looked. I boarded onto my plane a few minutes later, scared because everything was happening so fast. Dream. I thought of my best friend. The one that seemed so happy and so alive. The one that pulled us all together. The one that was always there for me. He was hurting. So bad. Tears pricked in my eyes, knowing too well the feeling of uselessness that would soon follow.  
‘George. You need to get here now.’ A message from Sapnap. My heart dropped. Was Dream not okay? Had Sapnap not found him? Worry filled my head to the point where it began to hurt to think. Dream, I am so sorry I thought as I sobbed into my knees.  
The flight was long, I couldn’t stop thinking about how many opportunities I could have had to help Dream if I had known he was struggling. I had already landed and was on my way to the hospital that Sapnap told me he and Dream was at. I still didn’t know what was going on, all I knew was that both Sapnap and Dream were not in good shape. My heart was pounding. The one thing I hadn’t thought about on the flight was the fact that I’d be seeing Dream for the first time. Something about that didn’t seem to matter right now though. I rubbed my eyes with trembling fingers, really feeling the effect of the flight and the stress of the last day weighing me down.  
“Dream. I hope you are okay.” I said out to no one again, more reassuring myself that he will be fine.  
“We are here.” I completely forgot for a second that I was in Florida and that I was on my way to see my best friends in hospital. I got out of the uber and thanked her before pulling my bags out of the back. I walked into the hospital feeling my face flush at the difference in temperature. I asked to see Sapnap first and got sent to his room.  
“He is in there.” The nurse smiled at me before making his way back to the reception area. I took a deep breath in after noticing how fast I was breathing and how hard my hands began to shake. I tightened my grip on my suitcase feeling the anxiety rise up through my body. I knocked on the door, feeling my face flush even worse knowing that I was about to meet one of my closest friends for the first time.  
“Come in.” His voice sounded horse and shaky. Things I wouldn’t normally describe Sapnap as. I walked in slowly keeping my eyes to the floor until I closed the door behind me. I looked up and saw him. His brown hair was messy and stuck up in weird places, he looked so tired. Like he hadn’t slept in a few days. I half expected to see a bandana around his head, just like his Minecraft character. His eyes started to water, and his face turned a little brighter after watching me walk in.  
“George!” Sapnap yelped happily, tears streaming down his face as he lifted his arms to embrace me into a hug.  
“Sapnap!” I dropped my bags and ran to him, tears streaming down my own face. I got onto his bed and hugged him tightly, not wanting to hurt him.  
“Damn George I didn’t know our first encounter would be you in my bed!” Sapnap said into my shoulder, giggling at his own joke. I rolled my eyes and laughed a little. I pulled back looking at Sapnap, he had loads of wires connecting him to some machines. My eyes were puffy, he looked destroyed.  
“Sapnap, what happened?” I said while looking down at the wires. Sapnap looked at me, the pain I first saw was back in his eyes. I didn’t want to push him, but I still had no idea what had happened and if Dream was okay.  
“George. I’m-I..I’m sorry.” He started crying bringing his hands to his face to hide his tears. I smoothed his back gently trying to be as understanding as I could.  
“It’s okay, take your time explaining.” I said, trying to sound as soothing and calm as possible, even though on the inside i was breaking just watching my friend crumble.  
“George, I got there, and he wasn’t there. I started screaming and panicking then I saw his phone by the lake. I just knew. I knew he was down there George!” Tears were falling faster from his eyes.  
“Sapnap, what do you mean? He was where?” Surely Sapnap didn’t mean the lake…  
“He was in the lake. I jumped in and knew that there was a chance I wouldn’t come back up but I couldn’t leave him. He looked dead George! His skin was so pale, his lips were blue. It’s been haunting me George! I can’t get his lifeless body out of my head” No. I couldn’t believe it. Dream would never try and kill himself. He was fine a few days ago. I felt tears stream down my face, knowing that Sapnap wasn’t lying.  
“They won’t let me see him George. I just want to make sure that he is okay.” Sapnap stared down at his hands, still letting his emotions pour out from his eyes. I could see how much this whole mess had affected him from how dark his expression went.  
“Are you okay Sapnap? What happened to you?” I asked, not fully understanding why he had so many wires attached to him.  
“I nearly drowned George. I pushed myself way too hard. After I dragged Dream’s body out of the lake, I gave him CPR for ten minutes. The doctors are really worried about my lungs and heart, and the long-term effects” He said not moving his head. Sapnap, I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help. I hugged Sapnap, knowing that he was hurting really bad. Knowing that his eyes had seen things that were clearly something he couldn’t shake. I wish I could just take all of the pain he was feeling away.  
“Sapnap” I started carefully, not wanting to scare him.  
“Im sorry you had to see all of that, I’m sorry that I wasn’t here to help you. I will find out where Dream is and check on him. As soon as I know that he is okay I will come and tell you. You will make a great, speedy recovery! I know you will Sappy nap” Sapnap’s sobs got louder as he hugged me tightly. I heard him literally breaking as I hugged him tighter, wanting nothing more than to comfort him right now.  
After a while reassuring Sapnap that he wasn’t to blame, I left to find Dream. Knowing I had to see him, knowing I had to see if he was okay. I felt my chest burn as I went back to reception, I needed to see him. I need to make sure he was okay.  
“Sorry to bother you again. Can I please see my friend Clay? He came with Nick.” It felt weird using their real names. Dream would probably hate me calling him Clay.  
“Yeah of course. He hasn’t woken up yet, but he is this way.” The same nurse took me to Dream’s room. My headache started to worsen, knowing I was going to see Dream. The trembles in my body worsened as we got closer to a door at the end of the hallway. To make matters worse, he wasn’t even awake.  
“Don’t be scared, you’ve got this.” The nurse encouraged me rubbing my arms gently, obviously sensing my nerves.  
He took me to a door and left again after a few more words of encouragement. I could feel my heart pound hard against the walls of my chest. Dream, I hope you are ready for me to see you, I thought. I took a deep breath and walked in.  
I kept my head low, knowing Dream would be angry that this is the first time I would see him. I looked up from my feet with confidence and saw him. He was beautiful. Breathtakingly beautiful. My heart pounded faster, making me slightly lightheaded. His blonde hair was messy, similar to the way Sapnaps hair was. His skin was pale, and lips were still visibly blue. He was skinny and looked very frail in the hospital bed. I couldn’t help but to stare in utter astonishment. I walked over to him feeling my heart pound even harder, if that was physically possible at this point. He had more wires connected to him than Sapnap and even had a breathing machine helping him. I couldn’t help but to hold his hand tightly in my hands. Knowing one of my closest friends suffered so much alone broke my whole soul. I smoothed his hand, feeling butterflies in the pits of my stomach over how much bigger it was than my own. He was gorgeous. Even with the bags under his eyes, it was easy to see how beautiful he truly is.  
“Dream, I wish I knew. I would have done anything to ensure you were happy. I am truly sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me the most. I love you Dream, I really do and I wish I could take all of your pain away from you” The words slipped from my mouth faster than I realised what I was saying.  
I looked at Dream, fearing that he had heard the words that already felt like they weren’t my own anymore. To my surprise his eyes stayed shut, he looked lifeless like this. I bowed my head in shame, not truly understanding what had happened to make him feel the way he did. But I was certain from this moment on I would dedicate my whole being to ensure he felt safe and happy and never like this again. I felt tears trickle down my face. I’m sorry Dream. I’m sorry that this is how we meet. I felt useless. Looking at his still body reminded me of how much I couldn’t help and even reminded me sourly of how much I should have helped. A doctor walked in, stopping my thoughts in their place.  
“Oh hello, I’m Dr Innit. You must be a friend of Clay’s?”  
“Yes, that’s right. I’m George, his best friend.” I stated with an empty smile. Clay.  
“How is he right now?” I asked the doctor, not fully knowing if I wanted to know the answer to that question.  
“Not good right now. I’m not going to lie to you George.” He said with a frown. My heart dropped. My head pounded. My body felt numb.  
“From tests we had to do we found out that he hasn’t ate in over two weeks. On top of that he took in a lot of water when he jumped into the lake. All of this has started having serious effects on his body. For example, we are having to feed him through a feeding tube right now due to how malnourished he is.” He said while pointing to the tube that was inserted into Dream’s nose. I held his hand tightly, not wanting to ever let go. He hadn't ate in two weeks?  
“We still don’t know the full effects on his lungs and heart but are monitoring them closely. If it wasn’t for your friend Nick this poor man would have died if he spent another minute in the lake.” I felt everything around me fall. My best friend in the whole world, was that close to death. He was practically knocking on death’s door. I kept a straight face in front of Dr innit, but in reality, I was breaking inside. All I could think about was the fact that Dream nearly succeeded. I looked at my best friend with empty eyes, not realising that him apologising to me could have been the last words I had ever heard him say. My eyes stung from how hard I was trying not to break. I had to stay strong. Not just for myself. But for Dream and Sapnap as well.  
“For now, he is stable. We will continue to treat him and investigate any long-term effects that could affect him in the future. As long as he is getting food, he should make a full recovery.”  
“When will he wake up?” The words stumbled out of my mouth. I could hear how needy I sounded, how desperate I sounded. But I needed to know.  
Dr Innit scratched the back of his head.  
“We don’t know unfortunately. We are surprised that he made it through today. Right now, he is in a self-induced coma. It could be hours, days, months, or years until he wakes up. We are hoping he wakes up sooner rather than later though so we can see any long-term effects before they get worse.”  
A coma? Years? Every wall I had put up to stay strong came crashing down. I started sobbing into Dream’s hand.  
“Dream, I want you now. I want to talk to you now. I want to see the true colour of your eyes and see you talk. Please Dream, I love you so much.” I sobbed into Dreams shoulder feeling myself tremble even more as his words replayed in my mind.  
“I should have come sooner. I let you down Dream. I am so sorry. I love you so much, I just can’t lose you.” I whimpered into his shoulder, begging that somehow, he knew how sorry I was.  
I felt a hand touch my back. I snapped up quickly expecting to see Dream’s eyes wide open and in shock at my confessions. Expecting to hear his raspy voice say my name in a way that would only give me more butterflies. Expecting to see the extraordinary colour of his eyes for the first time. But was met with Dr Innit’s reassuring gaze.  
“Come on George. Let’s get you a drink, then you can decide what you want to do next.” I looked at his outreached hand, fearing that if I left, Dream would wake up without me by his side. But then I felt how thirsty I was. I hadn’t had a drink in hours. I took his hand and followed him to a corridor of vending machines. He got me a bottle of water that I chugged down happily. He smiled and left me to help some other doctors.  
Dream. I wish I could talk to you and understand. I want to understand everything and be a better friend. Dream. I don’t know what these feeling are but I just need to know that you are safe. I’m so sorry.  
I stumbled my way back to Sapnap’s room, fulfilling my promise. He looked happy to see me. That was until he realised that I had been crying. My red puffy eyes a clear indicator of the bad news I had just heard.  
“George? What’s happened? Is he okay?” Sapnap’s voice broke more and more with every question. I could see how hard he was trying to hold himself together.  
“Sapnap...He is in a coma...It could be years until he wakes up.” I started with a shaky voice, feeling my limbs start to tremble with every word that came out of my mouth. Sapnap slapped a hand across his mouth to stop his sobs from escaping.  
“He said that if I was in the lake for a minute longer…he..he wouldn’t be here right now.” I broke. I fell to the ground sobbing, knowing that my best friend was so close to death. Sapnap cried harder, his hands were now covering his whole face as more and more sobs left his mouth.  
"Geor-orge...I should have been there sooner...He wouldn't be in this situation if I had realised sooner. This is my fau-ult." I watched his lips tremble as he removed his hands from his face to stare at me with dark eyes. Eyes that were already convinced that he was to blame for Dream's situation. Eyes that would torment him with these thoughts until Dream woke up. I put all my strength into getting up. I walked to Sapnap’s side and hugged him tight.  
“If it wasn’t for you and your fast thinking Sapnap, he wouldn’t be here right now. So please don’t blame yourself. You are the reason he has the chance to recover. He has a second chance because of you.” I said as confidently as I could. It was like I had borrowed some of Dream’s confidence for a second just so I could reassure my friend. I smiled into Sapnap’s shoulder and hugged him tighter as his sobs turned into quiet whimpers.


	3. The ghost of Dream

Dream’s POV: 

“I should have come sooner. I let you down Dream. I am so sorry. I love you so much, I just can’t lose you.” What? What is going on? Why can I hear George as if he is right next to me? Where am I and why did he sound so broken?

I was surrounded by darkness. I sat up and opened my eyes. There he was. George. He was right next to me! His eyes were bright red and puffy, like he had been crying for years. He was holding my hand tightly as soft whimpers escaped from his mouth into my shoulder. But I couldn’t feel him on my shoulder, I couldn’t even feel him holding my hand. What is going on? I got up and the sight below made my stomach wrench. I was looking at myself in a hospital bed. How is that even possible? Why am I in a hospital? I looked down and noticed tons of wires in my body, and a breathing machine that was attached to my face. What kind of sick nightmare was this? I stumbled back and gasped as my back hit the walls of my room. I couldn’t take my eyes from the body that was in front of me, the body that was somehow mine. The body that was laying so limb in the hospital bed, looking nothing like my own but somehow still was. My skin was nearly as pale as the sheets that were wrapped around me. My lips were a dangerous shade of icy blue. My hair was as blonde as I remembered it being, but it stuck up in ways that did me no favours.

What happened to cause me to be here? I couldn’t remember anything. All I could remember was leaving mine and Sapnap’s apartment to go for a walk. Sapnap. Where is he? How come George is here and he isn’t? How is George even here? He lives in England, doesn't he? 

“So, you’re awake?” a familiar voice I couldn’t recognise stated, startling me. George was still whimpering into the other me’s shoulder, so it couldn’t have been him. I looked around the room, my desperate eyes longing for answer, that was until I saw him. It was Bad. 

“Bad?” What is he doing here? 

“Hi Dream, I’m sorry that I startled you.” He stated with a sincere smile. I looked at him. He was dressed similar to his Minecraft character. His skin was dark and eyes were completely white. A red and black cloak hood covered most of his facial features, but I knew it was him. He was sat patiently on an unoccupied chair in the corner of my room. How hadn’t George noticed him? 

“Only you can see me Dream.” He stated, almost reading my thoughts. Spooky. 

“Why am I looking at… well me?” I said in an uneven, shaky voice that I barely recognised as my own. 

“I don’t know how to put this Dream.” He said with a more serious, mysterious face. The room darkened with his tone. 

“Right now you are on the border of dying. You aren’t quite dead yet, but you are far from being alive.” I watched as he brought one of his legs over the other, resting them in a manner that looked strange. A manner that Bad didn’t have. This imposter wasn't the real Badboyhalo. 

“Who are you?” I stated as uncertainty filled every hole of my horse voice. 

“I’m a demon. I just so happen to share the appearance and voice of your friend. To make things easier you can still call me Bad if you wish.” I looked at him nervously and nodded. Was I really that close to death? How did all of this happen? 

“I don’t remember what happened.” I started as tears fell from my eyes but disappeared into the air before they had a chance to hit the ground. Why was I crying? 

“I don’t understand what’s going on, can you please tell me why I’m here Bad?” Using my friends name made the conversation seem a lot more normal than it actually was. It almost felt nice. 

“Dream. Knowing that will put you a step closer to death. Are you still okay with knowing?” I looked at him apprehensively, no longer understanding any of the words that flew from his mouth. A step closer to death? What does that even mean? 

“What do you mean by that?” He looked at me and hesitated.

“In this world. The one both you and I are in right now, there is a designated path for both outcomes of your life Dream. One path will ensure that you go to heaven and live out the rest of eternity there. The other will ensure you wake up and live on Earth. Then, once your time has come, you will die and then will be sent to either heaven or hell.” He said with a smile. I nodded understanding what he was saying. 

“I’m not really supposed to tell you where each decision will take you. But I can feel your pain Dream. I can feel it deep inside of my being. I haven’t felt anything like this in millennias. I want to start this in the best of ways.” 

“So if I don’t want to find out I’ll wake up in the hospital bed and everything will go back to normal?” I said with an even shakier voice than before.

“No. It’s not as easy as that Dream. Each day I will give you an option. To understand what has happened to you, or to not and move on. You will have ten days to decide overall. On the eleventh day, depending on your options you will either wake up in this very room or die and go to heaven. In the event it turns out to be a tie, I will have to make the decision myself.” I looked down at my hands, not knowing where else to look. What does all of this mean? This must be a joke, right? Heaven doesn’t exist. I must be dreaming. It was the only logical answer. 

“I can confirm this is all real Dream. This is no joke. Each day will impact what will happen to you. I advise that you take this very seriously.” His expression turned stern. Great now demon Bad was telling me off. 

“I like that. Demon Bad.” He said with a light-hearted chuckle. I smiled, I knew he could read my thoughts! 

“So Dream, what will it be?” He said, his eyebrows furrowing as he got up from the chair he was sat in and folded his arms.

“I’d like to know why I’m here please.” My heart sunk slightly, knowing this could impact my life greatly. But I couldn’t go on without knowing. I needed to understand why George was sobbing like that. Why I could feel him breaking. 

“So be it.” His eyes turned red as he grabbed onto my hospital gown with a sharp tug. A pair of jet-black wings sliced through his cloak along with two black horns on either side of his head. Demon Bad was a good way to describe him. 

“Hold on tight Dream.” He stated. I didn’t hesitate. I held on tightly to his arm and admired how is wings shined as the sun from the window hit them with small beams of yellow light. I closed my eyes tightly, fearing what would happen next. 

“You can open your eyes now Dream.” He stated carefully. 

I opened my eyes and gasped. We were no longer in the hospital room. We were at the lake Sapnap and I visited a lot when we were younger. I smiled, remembering the happy memories that we had here. This lake is how I got put in that state? 

Then I saw myself walking towards the lake. I was skinnier than I remembered, my clothes hung from my body dramatically. Clearly showing I had lost a significant amount of weight. I could see how hollow my cheeks were, how large the bags under my eyes were, how my expressionless face seemed older in a weird, unrealistic sense. I looked tired, worn down and completely destroyed. My smile faded quickly. This can't be me. 

“I’m sorry Dream.” Demon Bad looked away from me but I could tell from his voice that a frown laid upon his face. What is happening? With those words the world around me grew silent. Silent enough so I could hear the thoughts that were going through the other me’s head. Everything become too much, I couldn’t watch anymore. I continued to hear those horrible thoughts out loud. The thoughts that were filled to the brim with pain and unrecognisable destruction. There was no way that these thoughts were mine. There was no possible way these destructive thoughts telling me to do so many horrible things were mine. When did I start getting these? When did they get to this point? Why didn’t I reach out for help? 

I couldn’t listen as I phoned George. I couldn’t listen as I broke down and started screaming out with pain that I couldn't remember having ever felt before. All I could hear was the dark thoughts that pierced through the silence that surrounded us. Tears were streaming down my face by this point. My head was fuzzy, stopping me from being able to concentrate on what was going on. I knew that I was on the phone to Sapnap now though. I was brought back to reality as I watched my phone fall from my trembling hands and drop to the grass. I knew what was going to happen next, even if I couldn't remember it. 

“NO! Don’t Jump!” I tried, but it was already too late. I had already jumped. I fell to the ground feeling utterly powerless, watching as my body sunk deeper and deeper into the lake in front of us. Then I heard him. I heard his tyres screeching against the dry Florida roads as he parked. I heard his heavy footsteps get faster and his desperate breathes get louder. Sapnap. His eyes were puffy, there was endless streams of tears falling down his face. He looked around frantically. Was he looking for me? Then the phone call hit me, he was trying to stop me. 

“Sapnap! I’m in the lake! Please save me!” I screamed, feeling my chest burn with an unrecognisable fire that I had never felt before. As those words left my mouth Bad grabbed back onto my hospital gown and before I could even say another word, we were back in the empty hospital room staring at my lifeless body in the hospital bed.

“I’m sorry Dream. You can’t stay in a memory for that long.” He gasped out searching for his breath, he sounded exhausted. I looked up at him and watched as small beads of sweat fell from his forehead. Clear indicators that he had pushed himself too hard. His eyes faded back to their normal white colour, and his wings and horns had disappeared. He still had his arms wrapped around me though, holding me tightly to his chest. 

I wriggled free from his grasp and ran my hands through my hair, pacing. Frustrated with what I had just learnt. I stopped and kicked my hospital bed in frustration and watched as my heartbeat began to soar on the heart rate monitor. Bad gasped in shock. 

“Dream! You need to calm down!” He shouted as calm as he could, which only made my heart beat faster with frustration and anger. 

“How Bad? How can I calm down?! You just watched the same thing as me!” I kicked the wall this time with as much strength as I could muster. Utterly annoyed at how I didn't understand anything that was going on. My heartbeat monitor was screeching now, a warning of what was to come. This time I had no time to react to the sound, my body flew through the air effortlessly as Demon Bad punched me in the face. I hit the hospital wall with a loud thud. I whimpered in pain as my limbs burned in agony from the impact with the wall and Bad's fist. I sat up and punched my thigh, wincing as I remembered that’s where I had punched earlier. My eyes widened; it all did actually happen. This wasn't some strange nightmare after all. 

“Dream. I won’t tell you again. Calm down right now.” Bad’s expression turned cold. A black smoke filled the room as his words punched me down lower and lower into the floor. His words attempted to intoxicate me with guilt and fear, but the fire inside of me had only just started burning. 

“I’m sorry Bad.” I spat out, feeling the fire inside of my chest roar louder. 

“I won’t fucking do that again.” I spat again. 

“Language!” he shouted across at me. The fire fizzled out.

What? I looked up at him. The black smoke was no longer to be seen. I couldn't help but to laugh. I laughed harder than I had in what felt like ages. 

“You sound just like the real Bad!” I couldn’t stop wheezing as Demon Bad began to laugh too. 

“I guess we are more alike than I had originally thought!” He said between his own laughs. He walked over to me and reached a handout to me. I looked at his outstretched hand and smiled. I grabbed it so he could pull me up, I didn't expect me to pull me into a hug though.  
"I'm sorry Dream, I didn't mean to punch you." He said while tightening the hug.   
“It’s okay Bad, I know you didn’t” I said hugging tighter. It was getting harder to believe that this wasn’t the real BadBoyHalo. 

George was no longer in my hospital room now. Even though I couldn’t talk to him or hold him, it was nice knowing he was here with me. I sighed pulling away from the hug with demon Bad. I’ve already put my friends though so much I thought, remembering the sounds of pain that escaped George’s mouth when he was here. Remembering the way his body trembled as he sobbed harder into my shoulder. George. I’m so sorry. I promised myself. I promised that I’d never let George know how I was truly feeling, and to make matters worse I couldn’t talk to him or even explain myself. He was left to make assumptions about this whole situation, assumptions that have already made him feel so much pain. My chest ached thinking of how selfish I had been. My friends were now suffering alongside me because I couldn’t reach out to them. George, I wish I could talk to you right now.

As if on que, there was a knock at my hospital room door. I watched as the door slowly opened. It was him. Before I could even process what was going on demon Bad turned to me and smiled, before disappearing. It was like he was never here. Typical demon Bad.

My attention shifted from Bad as my longing eyes quickly found their way back to him. Needing to see him. The last time he was here I didn’t have time to fully take him in. His scruffy black converse shuffled in through the door so he could close it behind him. He was wearing a pair of sweats, grey sweats at that. They made him look so small but suited his complexion perfectly. An oversized sweatshirt hung from his shoulders, adding to how small he looked. His hair was messy but in the best of ways. It was clearly longer than he usually kept it, but I liked it. He looked tense, tired and scared almost. His eyes were still puffy, but that didn’t stop me from gasping at how beautiful they were. His fudge brown orbs were intoxicated with worry, almost screaming out the pain he had been through over the last few hours. He looked fragile. Seeing him like this sent a shiver of guilt down my spine. My heart started to race as he me made his way towards me.

“I know you can’t talk right now, but I need to talk to you Dream.” The words echoed around the room, his strong accent holding onto them tightly. George.


End file.
